Dear You,

Sometimes I’m an attention seeking whore, and other times I see it too obviously on others.

It doesn’t suit anyone, FYI.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

I tried so hard today, I really did.

Did you know that if I don’t want to talk to people I don’t reply, because I don’t want I make a shit conversation with them - you’re an asshole, like full on legit. You’re an ass.

Haha, what am I saying? Me asking what you thought of your classes next year and you answering ‘yeah’ was the best goddamn conversation we’ve ever had, true? Loved every word - all of the four comments made my fucking day.

I’m kidding. Thursdays just always suck. They’re my depressing day :)

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

Would you come to my funeral? And if you did would you finally realize what I meant to you?

I’m only asking because you never know when it’s gonna happen and I’d much rather be there when you tell me that you love me rather than be dead to be honest, hun.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

So I usually get hit by disappointment, I should really start getting used to it. But how could I when it’s not entirely consistent and lets be honest here I’m babbling because all I want to do is kill myself.

Is it enough that everyone is happy by dissing me and putting me down, making me feel like shit? Obviously not - and they’re pretty consistent with that… Hatred. Lies.

Fuck you all. I can’t believe you think you’re a good person when your whole life is filled with plastic smiles and honest faggots.

Sorry, I don’t use that word. Do you know why? Because its not a nice thing to say about gay people. Set aside how nice I can be when it comes to name calling - dying seems like a good idea about now.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

So I’m stressed and scared, about why you ask? Well, I’ll be honest - everything.

(Coded names, obviously)

Tyler.
Marn.
Tyler + Marn.
Exams.
Science exam (Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck)
The English essay I did.
The braces.
The pain.
The performance.
More pain.
Just a bit more pain.
And just about everything else.
Fuck.
Fuckity fuckfuck.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

I’m gonna get used tomorrow night… I can feel it. Something is going to go down. I can feel it. Something is going to make me call someone I shouldn’t for help. I can feel it.

Not good.

Not good at all.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

Why is it that I had a fantastic day when I watched Pearl Harbor when I woke up, realized I was partially over you, went to school and you weren’t even there?

Why is it like that? Hm? Why does life persist in treating me like I’m disposable?

Fucking prick you are, life.

Love, Me. Xo.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

Go on. Do it, it would be good for you.

Ask her out - be with her. I know you want to be with her - deep within you know it.

So what if it’ll break me? So what if I come down with depression or anxiety or whatever third thing that would show I’m fucking upset?

At least you will be happy.

At least she would be happy.

At least everyone else is happy - that’s all that maters isn’t it?

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

So here’s something to make you laugh - a rant, about science.

It’s the most pathetic subject in schooling years, it’s not needed unless you plan on being a physicist, a doctor, biologist, meteorologist or anything to do with fucking science. It’s great you know, all those science teachers have something to love, that’s great - good for them. BUT WHY THE FUCK DO THEY PERSIST IN FORCING THEIR FUCKING LIVE FOR SCIENCE ON PEOPLE LIKE ME WHO HATE THE WHOLE IDEA OF TGE SUBJECT??!!! It’s like this - I want to be a flight attendant, ever since I was at least 7. I’m sure that has a lot to do with science - but a lot of the things I ‘learn’ in science is like learning algebra in maths, it’s just not fucking needed. Like shit I need to know chemistry when I’m helping someone put a fucking seatbelt on when we are flying. Like shit I’m gonna need algebra for that either - difference between science and maths is that in science there are some things that need deep explanations and sometimes relate to life things in some way, in maths however, there’s a formula, you use it, you’re right. Difference between science and maths? Maths is easy once you get it or get in the swing of things and understand the formulas you are using, science though you have to memorize every fucking thing they tell you.

The pout I’m making is… Well the fact is I have a science and a mats test. I don’t give two shits about failing or getting a low mark in science - lets face it, I haven’t even studied and it’s 10:17pm, I studied long a hat for maths though because you need to do maths to get a good job in the future - we need to leave science up to the people who are actually going to fucking do science. Be a biologist - be a chemist.

So fucking please - stop this pathetic torment on our brains that list for things we like. Not things that make us want to kill everyone on the fucking planet.

Save me.

Save yourselves.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

Maybe it should stop. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should stop loving something I’ve loved for so long.

I need to learn to give up once in a while. I new to learn how to live outside of you.

You’re beautiful.

But I don’t think I’ll be able to wait.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

So today wasn’t overly bad like the last time you were away for the day.

Let me tell you, that day was horrible. Only three days ago was the day I broke down. I already knew it was going to be a horrible day after the orthodontist appointment. I came back to school knowing you were away at the sports thing and all I could do was cry and cry and cry. I left music class - one of my favorite classes just so I could cry for a while.

That’s how bad it was without you.

And people can ask as much as they want, ‘are you okay?’ Truth is I’ll never be okay.

That’s how bad it is without you.

I could go out with a whole heap if different boys if I really wanted to, but I don’t want some one night fling, I want something more. I don’t want just any guy who happens to like me back - I want you.

That’s how bad it is.

And when that stupid little prick ******* comes along and drags her slutty germs along with her I usually imagine throwing myself off a cliff - as if my day couldn’t get any worse. I hate her, and I know I’ve told all of my friends that ‘we’re okay, we’re still friends’, I just lie straight through my teeth. But she’s a bitch, a bitch hi only likes guys who give her attention.

That’s how bad life is getting.

Today was average though, I don’t know why you weren’t there, but I’m scared I’m going to get hurt. It will be horrible. I know.

I saw the other boy today who I thought I could be something with, but nope. He walks past with a mere glance and smile. That’s it.

It’s kind of awkward.

It’s kind if sad really.

That’s how bad it is when you aren’t there.

Love, Me.

P.s- I think I believe in karma.

Dear You,

Amazing how all it took for you to talk to me is a nice picture of me on my Skype picture. Fucking insane how boys think.

I want to be a boy for a day so I can fuck around with girls head and make them feel like shit!

It looks so easy!

Love, Me.

P.s - Sorry that was mean.

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Dear You,

I tire of people who think they can use me. Why did you use me for though? I don’t know myself but I feel it. You seriously think you haven’t hurt me in any way?

Wow, you’re thick as a brick.

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Dear You,

Has it all stopped? Have I finally given up on you?

Let’s face it, I gave up on you a long time ago - but something kept me wanting you. That’s not giving up - that’s being a consistent friend, a lust to know you’re okay.

That’s it! I care so much about you that I’ve grown attached!

Boy, how could you not see this!?

Love, Me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Dear You,

I haven’t cried in a while. I feel pretty good. Besides the fact that every time you talk to me I feel like you have taken the form of a brick wall.

Do you know how unfair it is? Do you actually realise how stupid it is?

You know, I’m going to cry over you again soon - what’s the bet. You know, I can probably predict why I’ll cry about you too, it will most likely be because you start the fucking conversations and expect me to keep it going whilst you act like you don’t give two shits about anything.

Haha, you know you actually don’t. I wonder if you ever had anyone love you before. I wonder if you have ever felt love before in your lonely little life.

No?

I called that.

Love, Me.

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